Which Parenting Method Works Best For You?

As parents, we never feel like we're doing enough good things for our children. No matter how good we think we're doing, we will always feel like there's something we need to improve on. Parenting a child is one of the most difficult responsibilities in the world. Even with all the books, magazines and videos out there to help guide parents, nothing can prepare someone for what is to come with parenthood because the truth is, every child is different. What works for some parents and their children might not be what is best for all families which is why it's so important for parents to inform themselves about the different types of parenting methods that exist. The parenting method that you choose can have a serious impact on your child's development.

The number one goal for parents is to raise happy and healthy children. We all want nothing more than to raise our children to be happy, loving, independently successful human beings but the road to get there is never easy. Parenting takes a lot of time, effort and patience. There's 4 recognized parenting styles: Authoritarian parenting, Neglectful parenting, Permissive (Indulgent) parenting and Authoritative parenting. Let's review them to
see which one fits you best!

Authoritarian parenting is considered the strict type of parenting, where a lot is demanded and expected from the parents but not a lot is recognized. This type of parenting usually i
nvolves little socialization between the child and the parent and punishment is typically seen as the way to teach a lesson. Children who have authoritarian parents are often socially awkward, fearful, insecure, and are more likely to associate obedience with love (Mgbemere & Telles, 2013). In most cases parents do not choose this method to intentionally emotionally neglect their children, but because they believe that a stricter form of parenting is what will benefit their child the most. Although intentions might be good, and structure and authority are important things to include in parenting, this method does not provide a good balance between communication and structure. Children need both in order to develop as successfully as possible.

Neglectful parenting is when parents have little to no involvement in their child's life. This type of parenting is known as the most damaging to children because children of neglectful parents have no trust foundation built from their parents. As a result, children will have a much harder time connecting with people and forming relationships. They're also more likely to be dependent on others and have little self control. Parents who fall into this description are encouraged to seek help from a family doctor, counselor or therapist in order to get back on track for a happy and healthy life for the sake of the child.

Permissive (Indulgent) parenting is considered another hardful form of parenting because it involves little to no structure for the child. Parents are typically very inconsistant with rules and discipline. Instead they are very lieniant and avoid confrontation. Some believe that this form of parenting is best because by expecting little from their children, they will blossom into creative, open minded and confident people. However, children with permissive parents usually have a lack of respect, no self control, do poorly academically and are self centered (Mgbemere & Telles, 2013). Children naturally want some form of structure and when parents do not provide that it can have serious consequences on their development. Parents who are afraid to confront their children about problems are encouraged to seek counseling in order to help build the strength they need to provide that structure for their children.


Authoritative parenting is the viewed as the most effective parenting method because it creates a great balance between structure and communication. Authoritative parenting involves being supportive, nurturing and warm while expecting independent and age appropriate behavior. Children grow up in a healthy environment and are more likely to cope well with stress and self control, be independent, and have many good relationships with friends (Santrock, 2014).


As stated above, most parents never intend to harm their children in any way. Sometimes we might not be aware of potential flaws in our parenting. That's why it's good to be open and honest with yourself about your parenting choices. Doing so allows you to reflect so that you can learn from any mistakes that you feel you have made. It is very important to provide both structure and affection into your parenting. Children should know that even though everything else in their world may be going wrong, they know their parents love them and care for them. It helps build their confidence and helps them deal with stress knowing that they always have someone to count on. With that, structure is something that needs to be balanced with that because when children know that you love them, knowing that you push them so that they can be the best that they can be will help them feel supported and motivated.

We are all faced with our own set of challenges to face and each parent handles them differently. It's important that you don't forget to give yourself credit for the good things that you do and take things as they come, one day at a time. As hard we try, we will never be the perfect parent because the perfect parent does not exist.

Sources: 

Mgbemere, B., & Telles, R. (2013). Types of Parenting Styles and How to Identify Yours. Retrieved from https://my.vanderbilt.edu/developmentalpsychologyblog/2013/12/types-of-parenting-styles-and-how-to-identify-yours/

Santrock, J. W. (2014). Essentials of Life-Span Development (3rd. ed). New York, NY:
McGraw-Hill.